Of Inators and New Year's Resolutions
by 8711
Summary: Doof makes a New Year's resolution, and Perry decides to help Doof in any way he can. What could it possibly be? -Challenge Numba 9-


**Ollo peeps! :D Here I am with yet another Perry story!**

**Seriously, I was getting really sad a few weeks ago because I was missing that platypus! :( I hadn't written anything for him is so long! So, to cheer myself up, I watched some good Perry episodes. XD Lol…they made me feel better. X)**

**…Then, for Christmas I got a plush Agent P! XDDD Whoo-hoo!**

**Anywho...here's my entry for challenge #9! Enjoy and please review! :D**

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><p>The secret agent swung into the room through the open window and landed on his hind legs, arms extended and ready for a fight.<p>

"Ah, Perry the Platypus!" Doofenshmirtz exclaimed. "How expected! And by expected…I actually mean unexpected. I thought you were going to enter through the door today, see?" He gestured the door where Perry could see a strange trap set in the floor. "Oh well." Doof pressed a button of the wall and a cage sprang up out of the floor and imprisoned the platypus.

"I guess it _was_ a good idea to have traps inlaid everywhere in the floor." He shrugged. "So you must be wondering what my evil scheme for the day is! Well, the truth is I don't have one. You see," he threw his arms out wide. "I've finally made a New Year's Resolution!" he shouted at the top of his lungs.

For a moment, Perry merely stared, then he rolled his eyes and shook his head in disbelief.

_For goodness sake Heinz!_ He thought. _It's the middle of April. You're about four months late._

Doof rubbed the back of his head.

"I know, I know I'm about four months late. I just…could never really think about what I wanted to resolute. Until last night when I was sore from our fight. That's when it hit me! For my New Year's resolution, I want to be able to beat you in one of our daily fights!"

Perry blinked once. Twice. Really? That was it? Not some cliché desire to lose weight, or get in a good relationship? He wanted nothing more than to defeat Perry in one of their battles?

The platypus suddenly felt sorry for his nemesis.

"So from now until then," Doof went on, "the traps I'm going to trap you in are going to be MUCH more elaborate." His voice grew louder as he grew bolder. "I don't care what it is I'm going to do, but eventually I'm going to beat you Perry the Platypus! _I'm going to beat you!_" Again, he through his arms out wide. The room was silent for a few minutes, then he lowered his arms.

"That's all I wanted to tell you," he concluded. He pressed the trap button again, and the cage holding Perry fell away into the ground, so the he was left standing in the middle of the room. "That's all. Sorry Perry the Platypus, I can't think of anything else for today."

Perry hesitated, slightly taken aback. But then he slowly made his way back to the window, before hopping up onto the sill. He looked back at Doof, who waved awkwardly. Then Perry jumped and let himself be carried on the wind by his glider.

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><p>The next day, Perry kicked open the door so that it swung inward on it's hinges. Immediately, the welcome mat on the floor swooped up and bound around Perry's waist.<p>

_Really?_ Perry thought. _This is more elaborate?_

He wiggled his arms slightly until they were free. Then the floor under Perry's webbed feet sprang up, knocking Perry onto his back. Then a pair of wrist and ankle restraints popped out and held him in place. With the aid of the welcome mat keeping his tail against to his body, Perry was entirely immobilized.

"Ha ha ha!" Doof laughed. "Welcome Perry the Platypus! You're all nice and trapped by the _welcome_ mat! Ha ha ha—eh," he discontinued his laughter. "Yeah, that's not the best pun ever." He shrugged. "Whatever," he said, sounding very much like his daughter. "Anywho…time to tell you my latest evil scheme!" He clapped his hands together. Then he walked over to a large Inator.

"Behold, Perry the Platypus: the Jack-In-The-Box-Inator!" he ended on a high-pitched not.

Perry cocked an eyebrow. _Really_?

"You see, Perry the Platypus, it all started when I was very young…"

_Another emotionally and mentally scarring backstory. _Perry thought tiredly. Be he listened and waited patiently for he doctor to finish.

"When I was young, I always seemed to get a _terrible_ case of the hiccups! And my brother Roger always made fun of me. Then one day, when they were particularly bad, Roger finally had had enough, so he gave me a small box. What lay inside was the single most terrifying thing ever created! A _jack!_"

Perry stared, confused.

"You know, Doof explained, "It was a jack-in-the-box."

Perry then nodded in understanding.

"Anyway, the jack-in-the-box jumped out and scared the living daylight out of me!" He paused, then added grudgingly, "Needless to say it succeeded in curing my hiccups—but back to the matter! After that little stunt Roger pulled, I was too terrified to open any kind of box for a whole year!" He turned and walked to a sheet-covered object. "Which is why now, I will send a jack-in-the-box to my brother and scare him with it's relentless jumping out! And then…" he grabbed the sheet and ripped it off, revealing a second inator.

"Behold! The Hiccup-Inator 200! _After_ I send a jack-in-the-box to Roger, I will blast him with my hiccup ray! Then, he will have been scared, _before_ his hiccups, and will have to endure them for a full 24 hours!"

He laughed maniacally. "How do you like that Perry the Platypus?"

Perry almost could have laughed too. _This_ was his evil scheme?

"Well there's nothing you can do about it!" Doof walked back to the Jack-In-The-Box-Inator. He made to turn it on, but he stopped, his finger hovering over the button.

"Perry the Platypus have you not escaped yet?" he asked.

Perry shook his head.

Doof stared at him.

"Well, aren't you going to try and foil me?"

Perry attempted to conceal a smirk and shook his head again.

Doof narrowed his eyes.

"Why not?" he asked suspiciously.

Perry rolled his eyes, then pretended to struggle against his arm and leg restraints. Then he stopped and shrugged at Doof.

"What?" Doof cried? "You can't escape?"

Well as long as Perry didn't do anything else, no. He couldn't.

"So…you're actually going to let me proceed with my evil plan?"

Perry nodded.

Doof blinked. "Are you feeling okay?"

Perry nodded again.

Doof stared at Perry then looked at the Jack-In-The-Box-Inator, then back at Perry.

"You're really not going to foil me?"

Perry shook his head.

"You're not going to change your mind?"

Again, head shake.

Doof leaned close to the inator.

"I'm going to do it Perry the Platypus!"

Perry nodded in agreement.

Doof growled and retrieved a remote. He pushed the button and the arm and leg restraints fell away, and the welcome mat slipped off.

"Perry the Platypus you foil me this instant!" he yelled.

Perry sighed, then jumped up and lunged at Doof. He made sure he did it in such a way that when Doof dodged him, he accidentally hit the inator, switching it on. Perry whirled around and reached out as if to try and stop the inator, but it was too late. Doof gave a maniacal laugh as a square object shot out of the inator, heading towards where Roger lived. Then quick as a flash, Doof punched the button on the Hiccup Inator 2000, and a beam of light shot out, following the jack-in-the-box.

"Ha ha ha!" Doof laughed. "You are too late Perry the Platypus! I WON!"

He stopped, and Perry could just picture a light bulb going off above Doof's head.

"Wait a minute…I won!" He turned to Perry, a happy, boyish look on his face. "I did it! Just like I resoluted yesterday!" He began to bounce up-and-down. "I did it! I did it!" he sang.

Perry smirked and shook his head. Then he hurried to the balcony and jumped off, a parachute with his face on it catching the wind and slowing his fall.

Of course he would have been able to escape at any minute he chose, but he had wanted Doof to have his moment.

Besides. Perry had never liked Roger anyway.


End file.
